yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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