Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize