that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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