i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
