my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
