But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
