you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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