quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
