hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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