i wish my penis had a tongue
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
