dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
