I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
