does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
