Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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