oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize