i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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