So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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