My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize