I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
