There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
