you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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