she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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