i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
