Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize