he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
