3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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