the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My penis needs a shock collar
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
