I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
