can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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