Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
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I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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