I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My life is pants optional.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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