just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
