I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
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