And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
