we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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