I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
