the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize