we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
