Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
