She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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