I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
