5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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