Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
