Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
