I'm jealous of your bromance
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
