Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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