The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize