I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
