Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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