i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i barfeds in our rink
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
