a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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