apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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