i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
