Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
