physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
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You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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