i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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