So drunk its hurt
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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