I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When did angry sex become our thing?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
