absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one might say we're banned from that church
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize