also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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